some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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