no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
