That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
