Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
