He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize