never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
