I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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