But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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