don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
