why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We talked him into tasing himself.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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