I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
