Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
