so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
