did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The struggles of a small town man whore
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
