every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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