plz talk dirty to me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
