Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my poor anus
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
