My brain says no but my pants say off.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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