Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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