He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
