we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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