i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
