Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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