is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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