Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
