Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
