so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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