bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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