In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
