the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
