Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
