Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
