I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
