my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize