Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
