This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
