i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
