me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
