Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
50% drunk capacity currently
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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