ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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