she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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