oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
