I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
