Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
