Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
