Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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