I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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