he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
