At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
