your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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