no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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