my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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