I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
