i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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