Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
