Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
