i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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