Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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