If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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