...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
