I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
