If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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