i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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