all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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