just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
