What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
