Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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