what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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