Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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