Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pooping to opera.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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