You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
