there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
