I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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